Mafian
by ChibiSoulReader
Summary: Romano and Feliciano are two very experienced killers busy with the mafia life but only one can be the next boss of the family . Through a series of tests given by the Boss only one will prove to be capable of leading the family while the other will be exiled from the family.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Easy on the sauce

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Romano took a resevered table in _Mama mia_ and waited for his date to arrive soon. It was another business date not one for leisure, unfortunately. And as much as he would like to sweet talk a beautiful lady into giving him her number instead of setting up for an 'job'. Swirling the wine in his cup it had become late and he debated on leaving when and especially attractive woman came through the doors and stared straight at him.

She was a young woman, probably around his age but the look in her eyes let him know she was smarter than the average young girl and probably him too. Her black hair was pinned up in a cascading down her back in curls that almost reached the middle of snug red dress. Any normal man would be afraid to approach this goddess, but not Roman. Standing he began his way to her, hand out stretched to greet her like a proper gentle man.

"Ciao bella, I was starting to think you..." The woman didn't take one look at him as she gracefully dodged him and continue on. "Stood me ...up?"

"She is quite the beauty, very much out of your league. " The last few words stabbed Romano through the heart as he turned to see who is verbal offender was.

The boy sat down at Romano's table and moved his hand to the seat in front of him. "I'd like to get down to business Romano so if you will."

Romano sat at the table upset the sexy lady wasn't his contractor. Instead he had some fairly young guy with a messy silver hair with shaven down black side, unstylish if you asked Romano, staring through his sunglasses at him. Everything about him screamed 'I'm a rich brat', tailored outfit leather shows, the silver spoon might as well have been hanging from his mouth.

"Look, I don't want to waste your time anymore than you are wasting mine. Half the money is in the suit case, the other half you will receive when the job is done." The boy kick the suitcase to Romano under the table. "Check it if you want, count it out here if you feel you have to, also the information is inside."

Placing the case on the table Romano checked to see if anyone was looking then quickly opened the case and retrieved the information.

"So, this guy owns you alot of money, and you don't want it back, you just want him dead?" Looking over the paper romano saw the boy nod.

"Just kill him, that's all I want."

"May I ask why?"

Hesitant the boy turned a bit pale and looked off like he was about to tell a long story Romano would show only slight intrest in. "Look, I'm paying you to kill, not ask questions."

Taken back some Romano got up from the table. "Well then, thanks for the easy job, see ya later kid, I'll call you when I'm done."He headed towards the door, briefcase in hand he got in his car and pinned the picture of his next victim on his supervise.

"Francis Bonnefoy, I wonder what you fucked up so bad to get this hit you poor bastard? Oh well, more money for me."

Smiling over at the half a million sitting in the suit cause Romano went home, packed a few items and began his trip to France that same night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 :Heavy sauce and extra meatballs, please

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Up in the reserved VIP area of _Mama mia_ Italy smoothed out the wrinkles in his black suit before resting his elbows on the table and putting his cell phone to his ear.  
"Chantel" He said in a whiny voice. "Can I leave now...please?" The impatient Italian begged the assistant for permission to leave the restaurant. His next client, whoever they were, was late and even with Chantel reminding him of how good the pay would be he would rather be at home eating pasta...or looking at sexy ladies walk up and down his street.  
"Please Mr. Italy I'm sure the client is on the way, just be patient." Chantel, the assistant of Italy's grandfather, tried to reason with the boy.  
"...Well okay Chantel." Italy sighed and thought about why he was a mafia member in the first place. Oh yeah, he remembered, pizza deliver boy that ate the pizza, wine vender that dropped bottles, the list only got worse. The only thing he was actually good at was drawing and painting but that barely made enough money for him to buy the good food, and life was nothing without good pasta in it. "Ve Chantel, when this is over how about we go ou-" Distracted Italy stopped as a woman walked up the stairs, her small red dress hugged every curve of her body as she sat down in front of Italy shocking him.  
"Hello handsome." Brushing some of her black curls away she reached over, took Italy's cell phone, shut it, and stuck it between her bosom. "The say you're the best shot in the family, but they never said how cute you were." Batting her eyes she took Italy's hand in hers. "Will you help me, please?"  
Italy looked up at the woman and resisted the urge to ask for her number,besides, it would be in the mandatory information packet anyways. "How can I help you bella? You know, I am at your service." Italy smiled as he waved for a waiter to bring a glass of wine over.  
"Why aren't you the sweety." Thanking the waiter she began to slowly sip on her wine and explain the task to Italy. "I need you to go undercover and watch someone closely for me..." A sad look grew upon her face as she looked off away from Italy.  
"Do I have to kill anyone." Italy asked as he followed her gaze to a wine bottle, hopefully she would say no it was just a spying mission, pay him a ton of cash, and then later he could bathe in pasta sauce like he planned on doing that night but instead wound up here. Italy met her gaze when she turned back around but this time she had tears in her eyes.  
Shocked Italy got up and tried to comfort the woman "Oh, Bella don't' cry.." Italy placed his arm on her shoulder, but just as he did she grabbed his collar and pulled him in closer until they were nose to nose.  
"Promise me, if you see him with any other woman... you will shoot him in the head! Cut his fingers off and DRILL HIM IN THE DI- "  
All the beauty had left the woman as Italy stared into the eyes of this embodiment of scorn. Right now she was scaring Italy more than anything, more than rotten pasta and that was very scary to Italy. She caught a glimpse of the fear in his eyes and her own ravenous reflection and let go.  
"I'm sorry, it's just thought of anyone possibly touching my little pupperlynookums gets me all upset. "  
"...Yeah..." Italy, now seated again, shifted uncomfortably and forced a smile on his face . _Pretty lady is so crazy?_  
"Oh, yes, well I do suppose you want your fee, and it's all been handled 5 thousand transferred to your bank account, yes yes? And here is the information" The woman pulled a small envelope from her bosom and Italy wondered why woman with...large busts...prefer to treat their chests like it's a purse instead of caring a real one? Maybe one day he would understand, thank god he was wearing gloves today.  
Italy nodded as he reached forward and received the black envelope from the woman.  
"Well then, we're all done here. It was a pleasure meeting you." Withdrawing Italy's cell from her chest turned purse at last and placing it in a napkin she kissed it and slid it across the table before heading off down stairs and leaving.  
"Ve...likewise?" Italy said as she left. Italy waited until she left then slid the wrapped up cell over with a butter knife and then used the knife to cut open the envelope, he took a few moments to go over the information. Around closing time Italy packed up and headed to the parking area out back to his motorcycle. Italy tucked the envelope in his jacket right before he got on his bike and that's when it hit him. Woman's boobs are like spare purses, just like jacket pockets to guys when they are when riding motorcycles.  
"Ve! I understand now" He smiled as he rode off into the night to his next target but most importantly, finally, he understood something about women.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3, Actually I prefer angel hair

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While on his trip Italy called Chantel and asked if she had arrange a place close to his target for him to stay at. Unfortunately the only available place she could find for Italy to use was 25 miles away in the closest city. Italy cursed the target for living out in the country side because now he would have to find something closer to his house out in the middle of nowhere, on his own.

Far out into the country, where the asphalt roads became dirt and wi-fi wasn't available, Italy came upon a small abandoned farm house just close enough to see the targets house in the distance. There Italy decided he would set up his 'headquarters'.

Back in Italy, the actual nation, Romano had just finally gotten up. Stepping out of bed he headed to the bathroom and began his morning business. Just as he finally began to let nature take it's course his phone rang.

"Gimme a sec" He yelled, like the phone was a real listening being, he pulled up his shorts and went to the phone. "Alright alright I'm here...hello?"

"...Romano are you in France?" Shocked Romano flipped the cell around and looked at the time, 1pm. He forgot he was supposed to get up early and head to France...maybe parting all night long with sexy ladies with half the payment he received wasn't the best Idea.

"Uhh..hell yeah I'm in France Chantel, where else would I be, I have a job to do!"Romano held the phone up with his elbow as he began to run around the room and get dressed.

"Really now? Well I wonder how you got there so fast considering you live in the low part of Italy." Chantel said matter of factually.

"For your information I had rented a hotel in upper Italy to meet my client." Romano grabbed his briefcase and equipment then began to head towards the front door. "Chantel, you should trust me more, I have no reason to..." Opening the door to the hotel room Romano almost fell back when he saw short dark haired girl in his door way. In a business suit, skin tight black skirt and frilly white blouse, she stared up at Romano, crossed in the face she entered pushing the Italian back in and down.

"You have no reason to what, LIE?" Chantel, who reminded Romano a little of Belgium in the face with but had big blue eyes and short black hair, placed her hands on her hips and stared the boy down. "You were supposed to be in France by now!"

"Don't yell at me! I was getting there!" Romano stood up and tried to stare her down, but she was already shorter than him and he'd look stupid bending over her like a vulture so he just yelled louder than her. "Besides there's not a dead line for the kill!"

"..." A tear fell from Chantel's eye. "Romano! why are you so mean to me? I'm just trying to help you." Weeping she turned away from him.

"eh...what?" Romano, feeling all kinds of guilty for upsetting a girl, walked over to apologize. Yelling at her was kind of stupid when it was his fault, kinda. Placing his hand on her shoulder he tried to form some kind of apology. "Hey, Chantel...I'm...Sorry."

"Damn straight you're sorry!" Quickly turning towards Romano she kicked him in the knee and he grabbed it in pain. "Now, Get you're sorry ass to France before I give your job to Italy!"

"You wouldn't!" Romano glared up at her.

"I would!" Chantel had a creepy look in her eye and a twisted smirk as she turned and ran out the hotel door Romano, now angry, right after her.

Back in France Italy had set up his scoped rifle and had been watching the gate entrance of his targets home, it was kind of hard with pigeons flying over his head dropping loads everywhere. From what little information he could gather he saw that the only people that went in and out seemed to be some type of workers, a lot of maids, and a few butlers. Thankfully Italy knew what type of outfit the worker was wearing, thanks to prior unsuccessful experience in the field, Italy decided once more he must become what he hated to get the job done. Moments later he found himself at the front gate pressing an intercom button.

"And who, are you?" Said a deep voice from the speaker over head.

Italy smiled back into the camera on the intercom and answered. "Why hello there, I am just a wandering young boy looking for work in a vineyard... like yours."

"...We don't want you. Go away." There was no answer from the intercom as Italy pressed the button over and over. Having no choice but to beg now Italy assumed the position, on his knees.

"Please! I am a starving young boy, I need the money! I will do anything for this job!" Italy grabbed the bars of the gate and shook them. "Please let me in, Please give me a job! I'll do my best I promise, don't let me starve out here!" Italy stared into the camera with a face that would make anybody feel sorry for him, he had enough practice from begging for previous jobs, he even remembered a trick to make him tear up, which he did.

"..." The intercom was still silent but the gate doors creaked open and allowed the Italian in.

"Oh thank you! thank you so much, I am so thankful." Waving at the intercoms Italy headed towards the house feeling triumphant.

_"You fools, now I shall spy until my hearts content._" The evil side of Italy thought.

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XD thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Ravioli is better

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"Stupid woman." Romano said as he got into his car and headed for France. Somewhere along in his revenge chasing, Chantel had managed to escape, but not before landing a few assaulting verbal hits about Romano's lack of style and pitiful aim, which were not true but still hurt.

"It doesn't matter now; once I get to France I can spend the rest of my pay on beautiful clothes and women, and of course kill this Francis bastard."

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In France, Italy walked up the stone path that led to the huge house. Once he got to the door it was opened and Italy was greeted by the familiar voice that he heard on the intercom.

"Well come in, don't stand there looking crazy at me!" Italy took note that the tall dark haired man that just opened the door was probably a security guard since he kind of sounded like an asshole and he was wearing a black suit, but mostly because he was carrying a gun on his side. "Okay kid, since you sounded so sincere and looked like a complete simpleton, I figured you could do a simple task"

"Um…and what would that be?" Italy asked nicely while his evil side was hoping one day this guy would just so happen to be outside and then come into his view so Italy could snipe from his hide out in the barn.

"Don't ask questions simpleton, you're here to work."

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Because Romano was driving a fashionable and fast Italian car he made it to Fance with just enough time to start shopping before he went back to his hotel and began to plan his attack.

Romano stopped at the fanciest looking boutique on the street he was on. The long flashing title was in cursive and French so Romano didn't know what it said but it looked expensive, so whatever clothes were inside must be posh and if there's one thing Romano liked doing, it was looking classy, suave, sexy and expensive.

Once inside Romano began to wonder why the fancy outside did not match the simple and plain insides of the store. It was like Romano had just met a beautiful sexy woman at a night club but when he took her home he found out she was a man so he had no choice but to become very disappointed, and mad. The lack of expensive clothes made Romano feel cheap and un- elegant, there was no one but him in the store and worst of all, things were cheap. The sign out front was so misleading that Romano had decided to take his anger out in a much unneeded complaint to whoever was at the register however, when he got there, there was no cashier.

"Excuse me! Whoever takes the money and -"

"Oh my gosh! A customer, I was not expecting anyone to day." From the door behind the register a small girl came through taking Romano's breath away. Her long hair was falling around her in huge curls and dangling all over her sleeveless white vest. Romano watched as she pulled the edges of her very short and frilly blue skirt down, so nothing would show, and then made her way to the register. Now instead of feeling like he'd just took a transvestite home without knowing Romano felt like the transvestite called up his super-hot and totally hetero sister to come take his place, and she completely agreed. Romano now looked at what he thought was the most expensive item in the store, already in its wrapping and ready for purchase, and he had the money to buy it, if he could.

"So bella, why aren't you expecting any customers?" Romano said as he leand over the counter and looked at the girl's hand. _No ring, yes!_

"Oh, well, it's a long story that I'm sure I'd bore you with." She said and waved it off passively.

"I've got time." Romano smiled. "And since you're not expecting any one why don't I take you out to lunch and you tell me about it?"

"Well I don't think I should just leave and go to lunch with a stranger." She replied as Romano sighed and turned away heading for the door.

"Oh well, I really wanted to hear your story, this is such a beautiful boutique and I'm very interested in why you have no customers, are you sure you won't go to lunch with me bella I really wanted to hear it." Romano said as he smiled and raised an eyebrow to the girl challenging her refusal.

Moments later, Romano was outside at a café across from the shop with the girl sitting across from him sipping tea and happily smiling.

"So, your father designed and built that store for you then made you were that sex- I mean, god awful uniform you hate so much." _Thank you daddy. _Romano thought as he looked over at the girl in front of him, now wearing a regular blue dress and red sandals that he much preferred her uniform over. "Well at least you picked what items can be sold, I mean, everyone need household accessories and magazines and stuff so I don't understand why you have no customers."

"It's because of the sign out front." The girl looked over at the flamboyant flashing red sign and sighed. "Even though he was trying to be nice and name the store after me it's seems fancy since it's in cursive and my name is long, so generally people assume it's for the wealthy and I get no customers from the area."

"Oh, have you tried advertisement?"

"What?"

"This." Romano stood up then went to the middle of the outside café and gently picked a glass cup off the tray of a passing waiter the taped on it gaining the attention of most of the cafe's patrons. "Okay you people, you see that store over there with the big ass flashing red sign, they sell all kinds of good cheap shit! So get the hell up and go check it out…why the hell are you all staring at me like that...get the fuck up!"

Romano looked over the bewilder faces of the customers and waiters then watched as his tan female companion made her way around many tables to him giggling hysterically.

"We don't speak Italian silly, we're in France ." Placing her hand over his shoulder she held on for support while she struggled to stop laughing, much to Romano's delight who blushed from accidentally going into mafia commanding voice mode, forgetting that he was in France and not everyone feared the Italian Mafia there.

"Well, I guess you're just going to have to translate for me, come on." By now everyone had begun to go on about their business again but they stopped when Romano stole an entire cart and tray from a waiter, banged on the tray then held his hand down to the girl.

"I really don't think you should have done that to the waiter, or be doing this we could get in trouble!" Confused she looked up at the boy who just smiled down at her.

"Who cares about these bastards besides, once you finish translating you're gonna be pretty busy in that store so we'll be out of here anyways, here take my hand."

The girl stood shifting uncomfortably for a second before she took his hand and joined him on the cart where she began to translate for Romano.

"Everyone come to…what's the name of your store? I don't read French." Romano said as grabbed one hand of the girl then placed the other around her back, mainly to keep both their balances on the small cart,…he swears.

"The Boutique of Seychelles!" She said cheerfully then turned and blushed form being so close to a boy she hardly knew.

"Seychelles…Come to, The Boutique of the beautiful Seychelles!" Romano yelled to the people who turned and looked at Seychelles when she began to loosely translate with more polite grammar and the removal of beautiful which she thought he must have misheard somehow.

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Back at the vineyard Italy had just finished signing paper work and was now being given a work schedule and uniform.

"Carlo Fettuccini…" The man looked down at the Italian boy who smiled innocently back at him. "This name fits you simple, like a simpleton's should be."

"So, when do I start sir?" Italy said as he suppressed killing urges from evil Italy.

"Now Simpleton." The man led Italy down a hall then opened a door on the end and pushed him outside to the huge vineyard in the back. "When you finish picking every last single berry knock on the door and I'll probably come back."

The man threw a huge basket to Italy and shut the door, Italy heard a locking noise as he descended the stairs and looked at the vineyard. Lookingaround Italy saw the back of the vineyard went on for what seemed to be miles and it was all surrounded by a high fence and guard dogs. To make matters worse there was no one outside but him to pick berries in the hot French air.

"Hmm...this is working out perfectly." Italy said as he walked through the vineyard.

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Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Italy wiped sweat from his forehead as he finally finished filling up the basket with berries, it took a moment because while back there Italy was also assessing the back of the house as he picked.

"hmm...doesn't seem to have surveillance cameras." Italy said as he sat the full basket down and approached a drain pipe on the side of the house where he then proceeded to think about climbing it to a window. "Eh... no, maybe there's an easier way?"

From his past observations made in the barn Italy had seen that from the front of the house there was a total of nine emergency entrances, eight being small windows and one being the front door if he needed it. From the back of the house Italy didn't have that many options. There were only two windows on the third floor and Italy didn't process the nerve, or skill, to climb up there so he settled for the only other option besides the locked back door, a small unlocked basement window barely hidden by some grass.

"Ve~, that will do nicely." Italy thought, but even though he never gained weight from eating pasta all the time, and some how always remain slim with minimal effort, he found it a bit difficult to squeeze through the small rectangular entrance. Just when his torso was half way through Italy realized he was stuck, way beyond the point of no return, and he would have to force himself though.

"Ugh...I hope my equipment isn't crushed..." Since Italy's body was blocking out the only source of light he grimaced as he reached forward towards an object he made out as grabbable. With adequate force Italy then pulled on the object and came through the window landing on the cold cement floor of the inside.

"Oww..." Italy said as what looked like a bottle crashed to the floor in front of him expelling powder and not liquid all over him, immediately shuffling was heard from upstairs and Italy crawled away from the bottle and behind some huge barrels. From the corner of the room, up a small flight of stairs, a door opened and the shadow of a tall muscular figure coming down glowed on the wall until the lights turned on. Italy sucked in his breath and struggled not to cough from the dust that came from his clothes as he watched the man walk over to the broken bottle, pick it up, then cursed the apparent rat problem they had. apparently Italy used a wine rack to pull him self free, and thankfully only one bottle fell from the tall rack, but still security was alerted and that was never a good thing to do. The guard looked around the basement but could not see Italy hiding behind the barrel so he turned off the lights and left.

Standing up Italy pulled out a small black cloth from his pocket and unraveled it taking out a tiny paper clip sized flash light. Looking at his clothes Italy brushed the white powder off then began to look around. "How strange, what is he doing with powder in the bottles?...Not part of the job but..." Folding back the cloth Italy revealed tiny penny sized camera's. Taking one he unpeeled the paper from the sticky side, climbed on top of a barrel, then placed the Camera at the corner of the room figuring it might come n handy. "Now for the other rooms..."

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Standing at a register Romano watched Seychelles run around and help the last few customers that had come over from the cafe. Thankfully Romano knew very well how to exchange and deal with currency no matter what nation he was in, easily he sent finished shoppers on their way , and surprisingly with a smile.

_How, in the HELL, did I end up doing this?I just wanted a cute date...now I'm-_

"Romano?" Blinking a few times Romano came back to the cheerful smile of Seychelles from over the counter. "Are you in there? I called you at least twice is something wrong?"

"Oh, no... I was just wondering if... you had a spare place for me to stay, since I was just visiting for the day and now it's to late to drive home...?" Yes Romano lied, but all good mafia members do at sometime and no, he was not hoping to get laid at her house. Romano had wished to quietly enter France kill that bastard Francis and leave but now that so many people had seen his face in the area, in would be bad if somehow he was connected thus, Seychelles would be his witness or at least account on him being with her at the time of the murder, if he was ever caught. No he was not justifying a reason to go home with Seychelles. Looking down Roman saw Seychelles think the idea over in her head before hugging him.

"You've been so nice and helped me so much, of course I owe you big time. And if all you need is a place to stay then I've got plenty of room for you!"

Romano blushed as he returned the hug but also wondered why she was so friendly about letting a complete stranger that had helped her once, stay at her home honestly he did not expect a yes answer. Romano could have been an insane person for all she knew and she just agreed to let him in her house, or maybe she was crazy, Romano thought as they headed for the door. "...Are you sure, it's not a huge problem ...or anything."

"Not at all!" She said as she turned on a closed sign and exited with romano, locking the store behind them.

_Well, she is obviously rich, probably owns a big ass fancy house, with a nice ass room...and a big ass comfortable bed! _

All too giddy and happy Romano got in his car and followed Seychelles to her house, he was beginning to have second thoughts though when his cell lost 4 out of 5 bar and he had to wait for a bunch of cows to cross the now dirt roads that were completely ruining his pain job.

* * *

managing to squeeze through an air vent from the basement Italy skillfully made his way into a bedroom. "Yes!" Italy said as he began to sneak around the floor and lace camera's. Italy was almost caught once but with his small size he hid in a closet and was able to once again avoid detection. After that, Italy snuck around the many rooms of the house with out being caught by the few guards on each floor, he managed to place 10 out of 15 small camera's in the house when he turned and saw it was the sun was setting and it getting pretty late. Since Italy was on the third floor and did not feel like sneaking back to the basement and only to try and squeeze through the basement window Italy opened a window, took several deep breaths, then slid down the drain pipe back to the vineyard.

"ow!" Italy said as he got up and headed for the basket filled with berries.  
Once he retrieved it Italy went to the door and knocked then waited just like the rude man from earlier told him to do.

It only took a few moments before Italy was greeted with the frown of the man.

"What the hell is that?" The man pointed to the basket of berries. "I left you out here one day and you pick one basket?!"

"ugh, the basket it kinda of big, I think this is a lot!" Italy smiled as the man grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in.

"I'm docking your pay simpleton! Go home and be back early tomorrow, you'll probably have to work over time to make up for slacking today, and next time, I'm be watching you."

Italy sighed and forced a smiled as he was followed all the way to the exit by the mean guard then shoved out. If he kept that up, the evil side of Italy just might have to kill him. Well at least I set most of the cameras up Italy thought as he began to make his way down the dirt path to the barn.

"Ugh, I smell bad, and probably look horrible, i wonder if there's a stream I could bathe in or somethin-"

Italy was cut off as muddy water drenched him from head to toe. Some fancy car passing by didn't even bother to dodge the mud, at least the first car moved over. "Oh, great, what a faccia di culo no, wait..." Italy said as he took off his shirt and began squeezing out the water. Today was horrible, but now that there were two cars heading, where else, but to the huge house Italy was sure he he saw a woman in the first. Now Italy would catch the man in action on camera, then he could kill him and go home and eat pasta!

"Yes!" Italy said as he began to happily skip to the barn.

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thanks for reading.

Italy didn't say any thing horrible, he just called the driver a jerk.


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